Illinois Asks:

Dear Goldrush,

I have owned my own school for fifteen years. I opened fresh out of college; young, single, no kids and lots of time to devote to my business. Seven years ago I was married, but still managed to continue to run my business and spend time with my husband, even if it was at 9:00 at night. Two years ago I had my first child and now I’m due with my second at the end of the year.

I’m finding it hard to balance the parental responsibility and the school responsibility with just one child and now I’m panicking; wondering how I’m going to manage two! I missed my daughter’s first steps (the baby-sitter called me to let me know) and so many other precious “mommy-baby” moments because of my schedule. I don’t want to do that again.

My problem is that I teach all the classes and manage my school all by myself, with a “dance mom” who handles the desk part time. I’ve tried to bring in a new teacher twice, but the parents become upset when I don’t teach their children; each time that I brought in the new teacher (one was much better than me), I started getting phone calls from angry parents and I lost several kids.

How do I get myself out of this predicament — I love my school and my students, but I love my daughter and my new baby more. I wouldn’t be able to survive financially without my school. How do other teachers do it? I need some advice.

--Thank you, Illinois

Missouri Responds:

I have two sons, 15 & 21. Both boys are involved in dance as well as other activities so, I am lucky enough to see them when I'm at work. Don't miss your child's special events! Get a sub! One dance lesson cannot be more important than a special event in your child's life. Hire another teacher!

Send a note announcing the new teacher with personal comments about how you will miss teaching those children this year and you hope that they get promoted to a class you teach next year. Promise you will keep tabs on their progress and keep that promise. A child's first teacher will always have a special place in their heart. They will adjust. Best of luck to you. It can be done. 

--Single Parent, teacher, business owner, room parent & school volunteer in Missouri.

North Carolina Responds:

Why is the only profession where we are not allowed to have a life?

When my program started to expand and parents were wary of new teachers, I said "I have carefully and personally selected a gifted and qualified teacher for your child. Because of our growing enrollment, I have decided to offer our students opportunities to learn from other talented dancers."  I have a specific curriculum my teachers follow - especially for the baby classes. I tell parents I am available to discuss their child's class during business hours. I guarantee a quality class - no matter who is teaching it. If there is a problem, I fix it. 

Not every teacher and child is compatible. That's life. But my dance families know that I also have a family and that they are my first priority. When my oldest son tried out and made the high school football team, I told one of my classes that another instructor was taking over on Thursday nights so I could attend my son's home games.  I didn't miss a game - and no one complained. I returned to the class after football season - and found that they did well under the other instructor. Parents were very supportive of my decision - in fact, they often wanted to know the score of the game, how my son played, etc.  When he had an away game, I wore a school t-shirt to class to show my support.

Have a new teacher assist with you for a few classes - so that parents and children get to know them and build a trust.  Next, hire an office assistant so you have a few hours at least during the day to take care of your children. Don't miss these precious and very fleeting growing up years! I do miss the occasional school event, but overall my kids know that I go to as many of their activities as I can.  The payback is when my oldest son turned down an outing with friends because it was on recital day! That's when I knew it was worth it. Good luck.

--North Carolina

New York Responds:

I have taught all my classes for the past 20 years and have raised 4 children. I started bringing my 18 year old to the studio when he was just 2 weeks old. All of my children were studio babies. There is always someone available to help out: your receptionist or a room full of mothers who can't wait to get their hands on a baby! They learned manners and how to wait, but mommy was always there until daddy could take over.  Students and parents alike were very supportive and loved my children.

Was it always easy? NO!! This is a business of educating children. Your children will learn a lot more being around you and your business instead of home with a babysitter. Business is business but your children are only young once. Raising your children will be your most wonderful artistic creation. Use your imagination, before you know it they will be taking classes and assisting you.

--Still sane and in business, New York

California Responds:

I took over the studio that I taught with for several years. I'm now entering my third year and when my husband and I decided to do this, the decision was made solely on the agreement that we wouldn't have more children (I have 2 already from a previous marriage).

I took over in July and we found out we were having a baby in December! The topper was that not only was this my first year but I ended up with a very difficult pregnancy with the doctor's orders to be on bed rest the whole pregnancy and to be stress free. I was in and out of the hospital with premature labor, but felt stressed with the fact that I wasn't there for my new studio and all the dancers and their parents.
 

I hired 2 new teachers to for my classes. One ended up not working out at the end of the year and the other worked out well. I sent out a personal letter to each of my dancers explaining the situation and everyone was very understanding and supportive.

My 1st show had been the end of June (I was laboring during the shows) and I had my son the following week (I managed to hang on to only have him 3 weeks early). The majority of the families in the studio are so family-oriented and caring that I didn't have too much of a problem when I couldn't be there. Last season was my 2nd year and from the moment I walked in with my newborn, every dancer and parent just fell in love with him. He came to the studio with me every day

I was very insistent on not hiring a sitter or a nanny because I wanted to experience every milestone (although it wasn't ALWAYS ideal). To make a long story short, my 2nd year was a very successful year and my baby became the studio baby.

As for the panicked parents, I went through that when I hired the new teachers; but assured them that I put them through a rigorous interview and training process and that they will be extremely happy with them if they would trust me and give them a chance. Remember, you can't please everyone. We always tend to put the dance families before ourselves, but you have to do what's best for your family; because if you're unhappy, you WILL become resentful and it will show in everything you do at the studio. Congratulations on your growing family and I wish you success and luck in anything you do!

--California