Stick-to-it-ness

By Rhee Gold

Creating policies and sticking to them

As I travel the country presenting my Project Motivate seminars, I’ve discovered a trend. It’s a growing disconnect between what’s said and what’s done. The frustration that arises among teachers and school owners stems from students and parents who feel that they don’t have to abide by the policies or rules set forth by their dance school, that they, or their situations, are exceptions to the rules.

Sandra Waite is a school owner and teacher with a large group of intensive dancers who are involved in local performances and competitions. Her students go through a professional audition process, and then they receive a handbook, which includes all the policies pertaining to participation in the program. In an effort to keep the lines of communication open and experience organized, Ms. Waite hosts a meeting with her intensive dancers and their parents to go over every aspect of the handbook. It covers all expenses and due dates for tuition, and explains the time commitment required. All intensive dancers agree not to miss more than three rehearsals or classes during the season and are required to be at every performance. Ms. Waite’s handouts explain that dedication and discipline are the keys to a successful experience. After going over all the information,  Ms. Waite encourages her students and their parents to ask questions to better understand the responsibilities of both the child and parent. At the end of the meeting Sandra explains that she would prefer the dancers did not register for the program unless they agree to all the policies and commitments. She asks parents and the students to sign a document that confirms that they agree to the requirements.

All went well for the first month of rehearsals and classes but then Ms. Waite received a call from a parent of one of her best dancers. She said, “My family will be leaving for vacation and so my daughter will be out for more than a week.” The parent admitted that, yes, her daughter would miss all classes and rehearsals, including a session with a choreographer   Ms. Waite was bringing from out of town.  Ms. Waite reminded the parent about the meeting, the policies, the handbook and their understanding that the parent and the child had made a serious commitment to the program and to the other dancers in her group. “There are exceptions to every rule and sometimes you just have to accept that,” responded the parent. She added, “I’ll pull my daughter from your school if you don’t make an exception for her.” Ms. Waite pointed out the child’s responsibility to the other children in the group, to which the parent replied, “I’m not concerned with the other students. My own family is my priority.”

Sandra saw that she had two options: to follow through with her policies, which stated that missing more than three rehearsals or classes would result in removal from the program, or to allow the child to miss classes and rehearsals and to justify to others why she had excused the student with no repercussions.

Ms. Waite chose option two. She decided that she didn’t want to lose the student. After all, the dancer was one of the most talented in the group and she didn’t want to lose the monthly income from the tuition.

During the child’s missed week, she was absent from a costume fitting, four classes, and two rehearsals. When other dancers and parents asked Sandra about the missing child, she explained that she had excused her for the week; a total contradiction to the policies of participation. The other members of the group and their parents became progressively more disgruntled and began to discuss their views in the school waiting room. Some of them had missed family functions and other personal activities that conflicted with dance and they had taken their commitment seriously. The negativity concerning the subject spread like wildfire. By the end of the week, two more dancers were missing from the choreography session, and others started to miss classes. But Sandra’s hands were tied; she couldn’t say or do anything. She had diminished her power to enforce the policies when she made the exception and even worse she allowed the parent to pressure her into violating her own agreement with the group.

The situation continued to worsen; spotty attendance and commitment became roadblocks that affected rehearsals, choreography, and the overall morale of her entire intensive program. As the season wore on, Ms. Waite found herself setting choreography with only half of her dancers in attendance. She would then have to go over the new choreography at the following rehearsal for those who had missed. By the time her students were scheduled for their first performance, the group was far behind where it should have been. Everyone was stressed out. Most rehearsals had been dedicated to catching up, rather than focused on cleaning the choreography.
 

Sandra put the blame for her dilemma on her students and their parents, saying, “They’re not the same as they once were.” She contemplated whether to discontinue the intensive program. After all, her dancers didn’t seem to want to dedicate the time needed to create a solid program. She wanted to work with dancers who wanted to be the best they could be. Sandra never realized that she had created her own problem when she began making exceptions to her policies.

When first confronted by a student’s parent demanding exceptions, Ms. Waite should have stood up for her policies and she might not have landed in such a powerless position. Instead of worrying about losing one of her best dancers and the monthly tuition, she should have enforced the rules, explaining that everyone had to make choices. This one was to go on vacation and give up a place in the intensive program or to honor the commitment both dancer and parent had made. Whether or not the child continued at the school wasn’t the issue. Setting an example would’ve meant that all her other dancers and their parents knew that policies were to be taken seriously. Attendance would not have diminished; there wouldn’t have been gossip or hard feelings, and the end result would’ve been much better. By the end of the stress-filled season, Ms. Waite lost five students from her intensive program, including the one who had gone on vacation.

I’m not pretending that choices are easy or without risk. But as educators and school   owners, we must have the confidence to stick by our policies, without regard to whether or not we might lose a student. The negativity generated by not respecting our own rules will almost always backfire on many fronts because word travels far beyond the school waiting room. Be strong enough to stick to your beliefs, policies, and respect your understanding of what it takes to have a successful school. Resist being intimidated by parents who are actually setting the wrong example for their own children. Trust your knowledge and stick to your policies. In the end you’ll be glad you did—that’s why you made them in the first place.

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