Ask Rhee Gold

Dance Educators Seek Advice

Hi Rhee,

I am a school dance instructor who would like to know more about starting my own dance studio in a low-income area. I live in rural Mississippi and I would like to share my experiences with the young women in my community.

—Kim

Hi Kim,

I strongly believe that all children need the arts—or sports—or some “pursuit in life” that will encourage them to develop passion. Those who discover a structured niche for themselves will fare better when they become adults. Children, especially preteens or teens, who experience the results of dedication, hard work, and good sportsmanship, or have the influence of a positive role model, teacher, or coach, are being handed the keys to a successful life. You deserve a pat on the back for your willingness to launch your school in a low-income area where children often miss out on the foundation that dance or other activities offer. As far as I’m concerned, those are the ones who need the activities the most.

The catch to all the positives listed above? For a while, you’ll probably have to remind yourself of the reasons why you’re doing what you’re doing. Start with a minimum of overhead expenses. Consider launching your school in a church or organization hall. Take some time to examine the reality of whether this community can support your venture. As you build your business, save as much of your income as you can before you move to a bigger, better space. This will reduce your personal risk. You’re setting a good example of what the dance field can contribute to our world.

—Rhee

Dear Rhee,

My mother owns a studio, and she is having a hard time with some parents. To be honest, they are out of control! For example, they are going through her student cards to see how much everyone pays and bringing in choreographers for their kids’ solos without permission. Also, the students are totally disrespectful of her, but the parents think their kids can do no wrong. My mom is a pleaser, and won’t tell some to leave her school. We are having a meeting next week with the parents and students. How should we handle the meeting, and should we tell them if they can’t abide by our policies that they must leave the school? My sister and I help run the school, and we are very strict, but these parents wait until we are not there to do these things because they know my mom puts up with it.

—Terry

Dear Terry,

I definitely think it’s time for a meeting with the parents, but first you and your sister need to sit with your mom and come to an agreement on these policies and how to put them into effect. Soul search and dig deep to figure out how and why your situation got out of control. How did it become easy or a practice for the parents of your dancers to gain access to your student card files? What is the root of the reason why some parents are bringing in their own choreographers for their children’s solos? When was this precedent set, and why did that person get away with it in the first place? Someone set the example. Another concern to address is why the students do not respect your mom. Somewhere along the line, the discipline deteriorated and she lost control of her students.

Before you have the meeting with your students and their parents, you’ve got to create policies, rules, or standards that they must live by if they choose to be a part of your school. These are some ways I would address the issues you listed.

State your position clearly. No parent should have access to any of your business files. Could you walk into your child’s nursery school office and start looking through their student files? Doesn’t that seem outrageous? Demand the same standards of courtesy and behavior from these parents that any other reputable

entity makes.

Reaffirm your roles. You are the directors of your school. Value your own knowledge and experience. Take responsibility for deciding who is doing the choreography for your students’ solos—don’t relinquish that power to anyone else.

If a student is not respectful of your mom or any other teacher, he or she should be asked to leave—no ifs, ands, or buts about it!

See this as a positive opportunity to clarify the roles and relationships within your school. Sometimes it takes a circumstance like you’ve described to motivate us to make changes for the better. Stand up for what you believe is right, even if it means some students move on. When the dust settles you’ll have gained the respect you deserve, and it will be good for business and your peace of mind in the long run.

Let me know how things turn out.

—Rhee

All names are changed or deleted from advice questions and responses. Although we cannot answer all questions, please continue to send your concerns for personal responses as time allows.

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